The socCer star to be .

2010-10-24T10:44:00.002+08:00

Hi guys. It's been awhile.

Doomsday begins tomorrow, and the torture will stay for about two weeks. I will mentally suffer, only because I've not really prepared myself for these papers. I feel horrible. I feel like my dreams have been destroyed even before sitting for em'. I've always pretended that everything was gonna be fine, and I'd find my inner-urgency somehow. But honestly, I didn't.

My morale is well below par, my writing has been well below spectacular. Gone were the days where inspiration came in abundance. When my hand would simply guide the pen held between my fingers, and it'll work it's way into a fairytale. I simply lost it all. I lost it to complacency. I lacked practice and I now am lost within myself. Wondering if I could be the kid who dominated class and level positions like I used to. I always tried to convince myself that I was in a good class, and it seemed fine to be near the bottom. But it wasn't. The only reason I didn't stay among the top pupils was becuz everyone else kept climbing, and I stood rooted, hoping no one would displace me from the top. But I was stupid. I now stand a 100 places where I used to be. I used to be in the top 30, but I've taken a tumble. A huge one. I have only one hand grasping the ladder, and I am bound to reach its end if I choose to allow others to overtake me in my quest to find my true potential.
It could be too late to realise, but it could just be enough, to push me a little closer, to being among the best.

Papers that mean more than your girlfriends.

2010-09-14T15:25:00.003+08:00

Sup?!

Okay I'm gonna put something up before I head to bed for a well deserved rehabilitation for my well-beaten body.
The preliminary examinations have kick started and I've yet to kick myself in the ass to get those notes in my hands. Well I did had a little knock on my head though, literally. With the extremely intensive memorising session for social studies. It feels really frustrating to know that you're not gonna do well not because you're stupid, but becuz you're so much capable of doing yet you didn't study. It's not that I don't want to. But the fasting month really got portions of my brain to go against each other w some determined to study through a terrible day. But of cuz the lazy bastards living in the rundown portion of my brain emerged victorious in it's attempt to influence me to sleep the day off. And I realised my time got further reduced when Hari raya
came knocking on the door, tempting me to leave those books left unattended on the desk. Now I'm stuck w only hours of revision and then I'll have to prepare myself to combat the thinner and much hated version of trees with words printed in black. It sucks to be an o level candidate. And all of you little singaporeans will have the chance to see this dreaded period soon. I swear I'm gonna get myself stuck all day and night in the entertainment room killing aliens in what might be the 10th installation of the halo game on Xbox. (as if. I make it sound like o levels will take 10 years of my life. Hehe)

I've not had enuff of ranting, but I think it's about time I leave this ol' girl(I mean my blog) to sleep like she has always done due to my terrible habit of keeping her stashed aside. If you don't mind, I'm gna get back to my bed before my friend Manut accuses me of making excuses not to study with him. Hahahaha.

Till then.
Lovelurpz!

P ROD 2.5[POST IS DONE ON THE 27th OF AUGUST. RECENT hehe]

2010-08-27T14:31:00.004+08:00

Dig this shit. Prolly the best P-Rod edition evaa, putting this on the very top of my Kicks' list.
I know it's kinda abrupt to start on a shoe review(so-called), but my days and months have come and gone without even a tinge of spark.

So, since I have a coupla minutes before I dive into my revision books, I figured I should give this ol' boy some form of fresh air.
I've not done what I love for a long time, which is writing and I've had enuff of all the emotionally, deep and intrusive posts for the mean time. I wanna get back to writing random things and things that has occured in my life daily. I know I dont get a lot of readers and I dont get a lotta friends but everyone writes for themselves once in a while right? Yeah, so prolly I'll be getting reviews of shoes and music and possibly sneak in a little movie or two and most definitely the things that I get on with every day in life. From outings to events and all that shit. For now, 'course those few things are hard to comeby, 'specially since I've started getting intense with my revision. So I hope I'll return to blogging the episodes of my life without education pulling my two legs.

Hang around and I'll prolly post a thing or two every week.
AND(!!!!!!) tag if you comeby alright.

Peace all,(and a lotta love)
AmirulShazz.

Post-break.

2010-03-27T23:20:00.003+08:00

I know I've stashed you to the corner for too long, but it felt real good to be away from here. Maybe that's why I found writing a lil' daunting now. But heck, I'm back to writing something for a change and truthfully, my life has changed for the past couple of months.

I've been slacking on the academics front and my results are sure as hell, damn disappointing. But honestly, it doesn't mean that I carry the lightest burden on my shoulders. It's still as heavy as it has ever been, despite playing PSP and causing chaotic mischief in class. I'm trying to convince myself that putting in enough effort will get me somewhere in the future.

Although I'm still me, mischievous, out-going and a little less goodlooking. I've actually found myself rather cranky lately. I guess I should turn to you more often so as not to keep things too much in the pot where every unlucky or bad day are stashed to be reviewed. I know I've hurt many people along the way, but needless to say, I'm honestly guilty.
Maybe it's you, maybe it's me. But certainly, I've lost the patience that I was once gifted. But I'm trying my best and I'm truly loving how I'm feeling now as I write this crap which initially, was only written becuz I wanted to clear this dump off its dust.

Just so you know, the last event of the year before finally switching to serious mode was a memorable one. I've never had any sports day like this before. I came up with this cheer which instantly struck my mind at that point of time and I was pretty much glad I shared it with the herd of yellow leopards. Honestly, it was one of those times where I felt a sense of belonging somewhere. And being alongside jaguar, screaming and exchanging chants competitively was pretty much a laughbox twisting experience. I know now that winning isn't everything. I love people around me, and everyone that smiles and laughs instead of being emotional. You have to live life to the fullest. And I'm always gonna remind myself that, for the rest of my life.

I love life, I love home, I love school and I love the fact that we humans have feelings. The best thing about it is feeling happy.

This should apply to all of you. Stay happy.

Peace.

finally,some random shit.

2010-02-17T21:39:00.002+08:00

Damnnn, I miss these kinda breakfasts. You'll only eat breakfasts fancily when you're outta country. On normal days in Singapore, you don't even have breakfast. Bummer~

My breakfasts for school are in the form of hugs and meaningful conversation.
I ain't complainin' cuz I skip breakfast for the tummy to fulfill the breakfast for my heart. hehehehehe.

Have a great night.

Lonely.

2010-02-13T03:56:00.002+08:00

It's hard to roll around in bed without anything to look forward to. I'm in complete darkness and there are no signs of light coming out from deep inside my heart. I had to let go of the person I hold dearest to me for a few days and I have to make do with everything else that aren't missing in my life.

I just wished I had more time with you before you went away )':

O LEVELS. YIKEZ

2010-01-24T16:18:00.001+08:00

My flow of thoughts will now be kept inside of me and my expressive words will be kept in my heart. But for now, my mind will be kept on mathematics- ADDITIONAL mathematics.
The perfect choice of activity to do before declaring yourself brain-dead.

BINTANNNN!

2010-01-16T18:19:00.004+08:00

For once, this trip has got me begging to not come back to Singapore.
Camping at bintan was amazing. We weren't treated like dogs. We just came there to bond and enjoy ourselves. And enjoy we did. Even to the point of exhaustion, we didn't stop. We danced, we shouted, we cheered and We got our voice cracked halfway through. Life there is different. In a day, I already have become accustomed to life there. It's pretty predictable. Getting up in the morning. Have a hearty breakfast. Enjoy the sea breeze and do some activities when you're bored. It's great. It's different from being in Singapore. It's either you're stressed completely, or you're bored to death.
Aight, first up.

The ferry ride to bintan seemed luxurious, but the two "hawer"(hour) bus ride to Loola Resort was terribly awful. It was small and the roads over there were bumpy. And those who slept, looked like bobble heads, with synchronised "headbanging". I covered my face and tried to sleep so that the rest wouldn't notice that I was laughing.
To be frank, when we got there, we weren't convince about enjoying the whole camp. It all seemed too run down for us Singaporeans who are used to living in complete comfort. But as soon as the activities kicked start, all the filthy toilets and having the base of our dining area as sand instead of concrete don't mean a thing no more. It's becuz we were enjoying too much to care.

For the first day, I did my activities with class 406, which had most of my friends in it.
First up was the trekking. A good experience having to climb a three hundred meter tall hill. The steep parts were pretty challenging and I had a great time seeing a few friends tremble and desperately doing anything they can to hang on. The view at the top was incredible. And I was amazed myself looking at how high we managed to climb. Imagine, mount Everest. Damn, that would be cool. Our descend was a little easier, but our steps were more careful so as not to fuck up our footing and slide our way down to death.

Then came the boat boom-netting. The activity that has to do with jumping from a boat and into the sea. But there was a safety net preventing us from getting too deep into the sea though. The thrill of literally committing suicide was there. But I bet committing suicide wouldn't be as fun as this. I think I jumped way too much in that activity. Probably more than ten times to be exact. To the point where I had scratches in a lot of places. It turned dark once we're done with the activities, and we proceeded to wash up and have our dinner.

Sleeping time with the lads was awesome. We had a can of insect repellent and we sprayed it all over Shaik's asshole. And I got pounced by Shaik in the end, so did Katek. Then we all cramped to the bunks on the other side and slept like sardines packed in a can. It kept us warm throughout the cool night.

The 2nd day had activities that had to do with obstacle courses and archery. It was not bad. Pretty fun but not worth describing about. Then we had a pretty huge dinner, we grabbed plenty of chicken satay and cramped all of em' in our stomach. The sea breeze was stronger this time and I was pretty exhausted when the campfire part came. I bet the campfire was a pretty last minute affair, cuz it was kinda stupid and we weren't captivated at all. I was falling asleep really. I couldn't take it.
But post-campfire party was kinda rad man. We jumped and shout to bad romance, pitbull and many more. Made a choo-choo train and went around the burning flame of the campfire. It was fun. I lost my voice becuz of that. And becuz of the party, we slept late. And by the time we got back to our dorm, I was already walking like I was drunk. Went to bed with only underwear but the funny part came when we frantically searched for towels when we saw two female teachers at the front door. Embarrassing really. Then I slept through the night the moment my head landed on my pillow.

The 3rd day had a lot to do with water activities. Went flying fox first before heading for kayaking. All in all, the experience was amazing. Flying fox was crazy but hell it was thrilling and kayaking was freaking tiring. But it was a big shock realizing that you won't even drown if you capsize in the middle of the sea. The depth of the sea was only chest-deep. The depths will only become deeper once you're like 5km away from bintan. Kayaked with brenna before Aravin came to save us. It was really really fun.

Then we proceeded to have our final shower. As always, Showered with Khai and Katek. The smell in the cubicle was terrible. And one of us said, "kimak bau sia"(Smelly siaa). And in mere seconds, that phrase turned into a song and we kept singing that over and over again.
Proceeded to pack, eat lunch and get ready to bus home. It was pretty sad. I couldn't bear to leave the place really. You won't get that kinda atmosphere in Singapore. But there was no other choice anyway. So, I took the bus to the ferry terminal with class 406 and we shopped for a lil bit there at the factory outlet.

Then we took the ferry home. We had a laughfest in the ferry, with the lads stupid antics. Nonetheless it was a very very warm experience. It felt good to be home somehow, but of course I miss a lot of the things back there.

I miss seeing thousands of stars in the sky. I miss the heavy breeze at night. I miss the fact that I could drown in total calmness while sitting at the beach. I miss sleeping so close to the sea. I miss hearing the crashing waves at night. I miss being in the middle of the sea. I miss everything. I miss being freed from stress. Honestly.
I went for three days without realizing that O levels are comin' in a few months time.
I wish I was there right now. I loved it. I missed it.

2010-01-02T15:08:00.002+08:00

Gone, were the fringe that constantly curled up upon heavy exposure to the sun.
Gone were the times, when you bugged me in my sleep by getting clogged up in my ears.
Gone were the head-banging in the toilet, where a swish of you, could've washed a car at one go.
Gone were my frustration and irritation which forced me to say that I hated the way you look.
Gone were my admiration, to what I've groomed for the past 3 months.
I hate school and I hate it when you look short.

You were the reason why I wanna stay young. You told me that I wasn't going bald. Cuz I had you to grow with me for every other day that I grow, to become a better man.

I'm gonna miss you, hair.
---

With a day left, I'm gonna be fried when I step into the school.
I've yet to do my homework and I'm completely screwed. I'm really not ready.
But i wna go to school man.
I don't wna go school for the education, but I miss the outdoors man. Honestly.
It's not like I dont love the holidays,
The holidays have kept me away from school, but it has also kept me away from the person I truly love. I used to see her 5 times a week, every single day. But the holidays only allowed us to see each other for a few times in a week and some awful time would keep us away for a week. That is ultimate torture for two people who are in love.

The fear of drifting apart and having to adapt ourselves to spending little time together is difficult. Soon, the heart will eventually get used to life alone. It's tough. really.

2009-12-30T21:09:00.003+08:00

What's happened to me?

I can't start a simply rhyme anymore, let alone pour my heart out with carefully weighted words.
Have writing poems turned into a past-time activity? Or have I lost my admiration for the beautiful language?

I wished there were sites to put up your own creation of poems. Now it seems that poetry is flaunted for the wrong reasons. Not for appreciation.

A lot of things have changed since. Life has changed dramatically. I think I've come to believe that you can't get everything you want. When you get something amazing, you would eventually lose something else that you hold dearest to you.

But I still love my life though. I know who I love and I know the ones who could make me laugh.

But the best thing about life is still, love.

Hair.

2009-12-27T14:46:00.003+08:00

I'd miss this hair dearly. There's only a week left to go before you're gone. It's tough to let go of ya man. No shit. I've bred you for 3 solid months. Console me pleaseee):

Now that the school term is gonna start, I'm expecting a corny hairstyle for the beginning of the school year. Yeah, laugh at me, all you secondary freshies. For I am a senior now. hehehe.
I think I'm gonna have a change of attitude next year(Which is in a few days time). Instead of the laid-back, couldn't-care-less principle of school life I've been leading, I'm opting for a more interesting approach into my last year of secondary school. Perhaps participating in a number of activities and being a part of something that would make my 4 years in a school that looks like a "blue dump" more meaningful.

One thing I'm looking forward to is our level camp at Bintan. Damn, I'm fuckin' stoked I swear. No shit, camps always rock. For me and the lads though. And for O level preparations, hmmm ;\
Not something I'm looking forward to. But we'll see how next year goes.
My holidays are wasted, now that I'm just starting to do my assignments. Bummer.

And I just realised how messed up my post looks like. I'm sorry man, I've been lagging on my blogger for quite sometime. It's like my mind can't really arrange sentences neatly no more. Which explains my lack of updates on my Onsugar too.

I'm getting tired of writing and spilling out my thoughts.
Someday, I'd just stop all of this blog things anyway.

I guess all I hafta say is goodluck for the new school term.
And have a good new year.

2009-12-16T12:10:00.002+08:00

I've had an amazing past few days. Pretty tiring, but I had the chance to eat at a dozen of places. Places that I've been yearning to have a go at ever since the last day of school. But there wasn't much romance to boast about for the couple of days though. Hadn't had much time to spare for my lady these past few days.
At least I had the chance to see her yesterday. The day ruled of course.
Nothing beats a day with the most endearing person that has ever graced this once, broken heart.

Honestly, The holidays are killing me. Times are divided, and the opportunity for us to hang and chill together don't always come often. It's hard. I'd prefer being in school even if the schedule for the day seems completely draggy. Being home is like being apart from the crisp air that often compliments the beauty of nature.

I've been wasting myself lately. I've not studied for my Additional Maths exams next week. I've left my chemistry homework lying in the stacks of the other seen-once-and-never-seen-again papers. The Malay worksheets are chucked somewhere around the paper estates too. Time is running out for me man. I need an inspiration.

Or kill me, per say.

2009-12-03T13:56:00.002+08:00

I'm pretty much giving up on updating this dump.

Since falling sick, I've totally lost my interest in writing anything intrusive or deep anywhere. I've not written a single rhyme(shit) in ages and my mind is no longer functioning well.

I have not been out of home since the tragic soccer match 2 days ago. I've not met with the people I love and the people I usually hang with. I'm a useless bum now, getting wasted on my bed and on my favourite couch, time and time again.

But I'm not that useless though.
I'm still in love, and I've had the best bunch of people to hang out with.
Just that we all have not hang in a long time.

Have a great day.
Im gonna read myself a book and watch some toons.

A day at home.

2009-12-02T19:01:00.003+08:00

Good evening.

I spent a whole day at home.
To be frank, I've never been home this much and let me tell you this- It is killing me.
Life at home is no doubt extremely boring. There's so little to do. It's like for once, I had to really think of what to do for the whole day. Not that it took much. Cuz I spent my whole time on the computer and it wasn't eventful at all. Besides the computer, I had to attend to my mother's little favours. From switching off the fan, to taking the phone and to everything that someone could possibly, simply do themselves. Not that it's much of a big deal. But by the thousandth time she screamed my name, I was pissed. Like the occasional feeling one feels when they get irritated. Like, "what the hell do you want now?!".

But all of these are like a recollection of my memories back when I was still a kid. Back when I didn't have a maid to help out with things around the house. My mom used to be home and my siblings and I would be helping with the house chores and everything. But now, after spending so many years with someone to do things for you. It feels really weird when she finally leaves for home.

I now find myself doing my bed the moment I wake up from sleep, setting up the utensils for daily meals and what not.
It all seems weird to me. Having to adapt to this new lifestyle of mine.
The only reason I chose to stay home more is to help my mom whenever she needs me. I bet it's even more harder for her, having to take a break from work to care for my little brothers and having to keep the home clean and stuff. It's been tough.

But I'm gonna adapt to things sooner, if not later.

But yet, life's still at it's best.
that's fo sho'

Till then.

Sick.

2009-11-29T15:01:00.003+08:00

Blogger, I've neglected you too much and I'm extremely sorry.
I've been spending way too much time digging deeper into my inner thoughts and writing all of that down on Onsugar. So much that I've forgotten about my daily activities.

Well, as I've come to realise, these few days were pretty bad for me. I've had my battle with a very stubborn fever which kept coming on and off. Not to forget the stinging headache which comes with it and also the countless of hours I spent in bed moaning and groaning over the pain. I've never felt this horrible in the last few months. In fact, I've never felt horrible before this. I've been pretty much happy with life. But it took many micro enemies in my body to destroy the joy and happiness that I've become used to.

ahhh, this is terrible. It took me a whole lot of strength to come up with all this shit here. I wonder if people still come here :\
hmm.. I guess not. Since it's rotting to its death anyway.

Just so you know, I'm putting more updates on my Onsugar soon. When I'm well enuff to think.
For now, my bed awaits!

2009-11-24T18:41:00.002+08:00

I've not had chicken in a while. If only I had the money....

I wish my heart had more answers. I need to know everything, I need to feel something.
Before I'm crushed by questions marks and thoughts that are left hangin'.

last song

2009-11-15T16:45:00.003+08:00

My favourite author has always been Nicholas Sparks.
Ever since the first time I laid my hands on The Notebook.

Romance has always captivated me. There's the possibility of a highly tragic ending or a beautiful one that could drift you to a nice trip to dreamland after spending the whole night reading.
I have a to admit... Okay, a confession really. I cried reading books by Nicholas Sparks.
He just has this incredible ability to pull the strings of my heart with his carefully weighted words.
His books could let your heart imagine the beautiful joy love brings to someone and could tear you apart explaining how much love could bring pain and suffering to someone too.

I had my hands on the 'the last song', the latest in his collection of books a month ago and I finished it within a week. The book was incredibly well structured. And I was really amazed at the fact that he not only managed to describe vividly how love began in this rebellious teenage girl's life. But he also managed to describe how she managed to reconcile with her estranged father before realizing that he had cancer all along. And all that happening in one summer. I wouldn't wanna spoil the details of the book. Have it in your acquisition and enjoy the beautifully written book.
I couldn't get my hands on 'Dear John' though, which I expect would be more emotional and moving compared to 'The notebook' and 'The Last Song'.

But February's coming in a few months anyway and the movie version of 'Dear John' will be coming out. So will 'The Last Song'. I'm hugely stoked. For you guys who wants to spend a wonderful evening watching a romantic movie with your loved one. Have a go at any movie by Nicholas Sparks.

It never disappoints.

I hope the world's going your way today guys.
And enjoy the holidays.
It's the the holidays to fall in love.
So make the most of it.

love ya.

2009-11-13T22:22:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I wonder what I'd be in the distant future.
A miserable bum, shelved in the dustiest of corners? or an old man who has lived a wonderful life.

It's troubling, troubling to think that life could be a breeze now but a hell of a storm in the coming decades. I am afraid my decisions in life might stutter my journey to a memorable lifetime. So bloody afraid.
What if the decisions I've made now might not even come close to exceeding my expectations? What if the things I chose to leave behind would haunt me for the rest of my life as ugly regrets.
To think again, going with the flow was never as easy as it sounds.

I am still afraid. And I'll always be.
Don't change anything. please.

2009-11-04T20:01:00.002+08:00

I could sense the sudden rush of defiance in me every single time my mother steps into my room to destroy my heavenly sleep. It has been goin' on for the last 3 days and I've always kept her hangin' and she'd have to come in for at least a third time to lure me outta bed. I hafta admit, I've been more of a bum lately. Cruising into class late, falling asleep and having my thoughts drifting into a quiet little world while lessons are ongoing.

I can't blame myself though. My energy's been hugely depleted from all the classes. I have soccer trainings in the morning followed by Physics or maths classes and then I'll have another 3 hour session of Mother Tongue lessons. And by the time I reach home, it'll be past seven in the evening and I'd already be crying out to be slave to my bed. Grueling don'tchu think? It's tough. But I'm taking all of this seriously so that adapting to all these daunting activities all at once won't be much of a bother to me in the coming months. Wow, To think how much of a breeze life was at the beginning of secondary school life. Now everything seems too fast paced.

Aight, Ima have my little bit of rest now before I go to bed and wake up at 7 the next day. I'll come back when I have time.

2009-10-31T18:33:00.002+08:00

It's supposed to be a 2 month break for me to catch up with my life, or take a lil' revision by myself at least. But instead, I'm stuck with having to dreadfully wake myself up from bed and drag myself to school for the rest of the holidays with only a couple of breaks in between. It makes me wonder how harrowing it might have been for the ones who's taking O levels this year. If I survive and actually do well for O levels, then I'd consider myself unbelievable... If that's the right word to describe it.

Honestly, the only comfort in having to go back to school is the presence of my "Allie" who has this incredible ability to lighten up a dull, school day with her sweet, adoring smile. At least I have something interesting to look forward to for the (approximately) four hours of Mother tongue lessons which I think is extremely pointless. What is there more to learn about Malay? Especially since I'm gonna have to attend 4 hour sessions for at least 4 days. 16 hours of mother tongue? That's like a month of mother tongue periods on a normal school day.

With intensive pure physics lessons which will go on till the 28th of December, not including Maths and Chemistry yet, I have a lot of ground to catch up with myself. I'll just go out a lil' and enjoy myself for a lil' bit before my braincells enjoy munching in on bits of information this holidays.

With all these activities lined up for me, the busyness and the way I'm constantly straying away from my usual life. I hope my heart doesn't get chucked aside along the way. I hope it's still able to satisfy itself with a lil' dosage of love every now and then, with my sweetie always at the corner of my eye these days. I'm lovin' every bit of time I have with you, honestly. I couldn't ask for more. I'm only here for you and I desire to only hear your voice everyday, and to feel your warm embrace with every moment we have together. I know this would never last forever, and I'm wishing for it to at least last for the time being. Becuz I've never felt so calm and complete in my whole life. I hope people, including our friends understands us instead of passing us of as another obsessed couple. But then again, people may not understand that our feelings aren't ordinary nor would they understand that these feelings, as subtle as it is, would ever be strong to hold us out for as long as we want it to. As disgusting as people may find us to be, I thank you all for the concern. I hope you guys are happy. Becuz I am. Always.

lil' update.

2009-10-25T19:52:00.003+08:00

Another World Title to his name, and An Amazing showdown in Sepang between him and Lorenzo.
No doubt this man is like the Michael Schumacher of Motorcycle racing. 9 world titles says it all.

I spent the day catching up on MotoGP and watching movies at home. It's bad to be spending the weekend like this. And I still have physics homework to do. Damn, I'm so dead. I just had to put up something up here before everything else gets covered in dust. Stuffs about my life are more intrusive and deep on Onsugar. But for now, I'll just be sticking to boring stuffs.

I'm done.

Sex and White lies.

2009-10-21T10:56:00.003+08:00

Evening lovelies.

Hope the world's goin' your way today. Cuz it's anything but messed up for me. I'm all good. Except I was knocked down pretty hard after footie yesterday with a merciless headache. Flu-max was an awesome antidote thou. It kicked in within mere minutes of entering my empty stomach.
I shall not say much about my exams. I couldn't be bothered for the SA2s, honestly. I was too exhausted from all the rushing and all the catching up of topics. I cannot deny the fact that I'll be getting a single digit for my A maths. Pure Sciences, if I actually did pass, I would be grateful enuff.

This is just a lil' update, so don't expect much from this dusty ol' fag of a web.
Shall test if I still have the mood for writing poetry. It's been way too long since I held my book of rhymes.

And, All Time Low has made a contribution in the soundtrack of the movie, Jennifer's Body. To tell you the truth, it's not bad actually. Different, but pretty rad. Check it. The song's called, Toxic Valentine.

Hope Ima be back any time soon.
Love you.

baby,

2009-10-07T22:00:00.002+08:00

Like a honey candy, you're a long-term craving my heart had hoped for.
Left underestimated, and condemned by past memories that had turned you into a cluttered mess, you only wished to be valued enuff for someone to pick you up and enjoy the exquisite taste of love behind the stained foil wrapper.
On a day of lows, I would've make do with anything I could find that would eliminate the soury taste of loneliness that had set my life to a tragic downturn. I found you, and thou bittersweet, your taste didn't disappoint as I was fueled with elation the moment I stripped you of the dirtied foil that kept you clean through the days you spent stranded without a place in any man's heart. How could someone not have valued you as much as I did when you were the perfect combination of a rare beauty of a gem and a cute lil' bear?
But I am grateful.
I-have-found-you. And I'll never let you go.

You're like a prized possession, I do not dare touch. Like a box of chocolate that rids me of the temptations. Like a possible cure for this huge hole without a secondary heart that fits. You fill my day with confetti and memories. You bathe me with smiles and love that I do not dare risk. How I wished you didn't had to go through the sombre days of hurt and despair while I was left wondering whether you were taken care of well. I wished I was there to have prevented you from getting yourself stuck in the mess that has scarred you for the rest of your life. I wished I was a better lover who could have managed you well. I was a loser. Without. A. Doubt.
But I'm in love.
In love with a woman that's managed to spiral me into deep depression.

But I do not care. My fingers are crossed for I'm dying for our love to always stay. You've changed. You've been better. And I couldn't ask for more. I wouldn't leave you even if in the eyes of many others, we're not meant to be. Cuz I've been waiting way too long to finally learn to enjoy my life with you around.

Endlessly,
I love you N.

2009-09-27T02:39:00.002+08:00

These, are only a few out of over 300 photos taken 2 days ago. You guys are total camwhores man. It was agonizing spending 3 hours tryna upload all of em' up on facebook. Nevertheless, I benefited more from all the fun and jokes rather than the money. But it was a stellar experience, honestly. My mind completely erased the thought of collecting money as we went from houses to houses. I was more interested in relishing this amazing day that will never escape our puny brains. I don't know no shit on how to describe this eventful day. Straight up, I love each and every one of you. Even the ones that didn't get to follow. And maybe I love some, more.

I wish we could all be like this, every, single, day. School life would never be as daunting as it has been all this while if that happens.

Check out the photos on facebook.
Candid shots, and distorted faces are all over the place.
Have a great laugh at it, and enjoy the festivities AND the exams.

Goodnight.

I love you and you.

The other Hangover.

2009-09-19T17:22:00.003+08:00

What's up.

I know I know. I've not blogged here for quite a while. It's been an awesome week for me really. I really could feel the urge to celebrate Hari Raya now and school has really escaped my mind(except for my physics project thou).

Qiamullail was awesome. To put it easier for those who doesn't understand, tonning with the lads in the mosque for our late-night prayers was simply the best. We indulged in all kinds of shits from 10pm till 3.30am to keep ourselves awake for the highlight of the night, -prayers.

3 packs of clover-ed cancer sticks were taken in like breathing air on a cold, lively night. It was that bad. The lads and I actually played blind footie at our usual hideout cuz there were no floodlights to ease our vision at 2am in the morning. Like chasing a rat in a dark alley.

We played the guitar over and over again, ran to Mcdonalds to get 5 cheeseburgers for a late-night snack, Had farting wars, laughfests, whacky impersonations, cheesy jokes and what not. I was so worned out at the end, till I almost fell asleep while praying. Headed back at 7am and the walk back home was extremely daunting, especially with my energy completely depleted from all the total chaos. Like a fuckin' drunkard crossing the street.

Nevertheless, it was an epic night. Fun-times I'll never forget.
And tomorrow's gonna be a special day. Hari raya always never fail to disappoint.
Get set for a jam-packed blog full-ef pictures.

To all of you Muslims,
Selamat Hari Raya aidilfitri.

May you all enjoy bringing your bank-bag to every doorstep.
No doubt, I'll enjoy the food. Time to get fat!

P.S; I'll be posting something deep, or prolly intrusive on my onsugar. peace.

2009-09-13T01:51:00.002+08:00

Everything's pretty bad. Arsenal were gunned. School's startin'. Countless homeworks lay wasted on the tabletop. I am a mess. Everything's a mess. Be sad, my friends. Or else, invade ikea!

love you.

Time-change.

2009-09-12T00:29:00.005+08:00

If I could reverse time, there'd be a handful of mistakes I would like to change and make it better. And a whole load of shit I would've prevented from falling through.
I may have hated life as it is. But maybe this is the point where I should start appreciating every single thing that have fallen in place - even the misadventures I stumbled upon.
The unfortunate events that has unfolded in my life has remarkably made this life more enjoyable. Without em', would I even be contented with having wrestlers as close pals and fuckin' hot chicks as my teachers?
For what I know, I've made it.. To things that would've never cross my mind at that point of time.

But I, for one, am eternally grateful.
Becuz I live among 39 slacking-nerds, spending on average of 6.9 hours, confined in a four-walled room while discovering the horrific numbers of Additional Maths.
I would never dream of sitting in the same room of the to-the-core geeks, next door. They could spell the most sophisticated of scientific names. But I'm sure most would be clueless of the word, Fun.

Nevertheless, life's fair in some way or another. Somewhere around your book of characteristics. There's a little flaw that contradicts with yourself as a whole.
For my case, I may not have a beautiful face. But I make up for it with a pretty useful brain. Likewise, I'm in love with an extremely-irritating-yet-sweet pain in the ass :D

And fat alberts, rejoice. Usually, you guys are the ones who are born with the jokes.
And for the less-beautiful chicks. You guys often come up as the perfect bestfriend.
Likewise, the ones with the face always end up with the unfortunate brain.

And I would also like to spill this thought I've had for a long time.
More often than not, I've stumbled upon friendster or tagged profiles bearing this little harmless phrase.
"I ain't a minahrep, dont even look like one."

To believe that shit, you might wanna take a sledgehammer and slam it at the back of your skull. THAT, enuff said, is simply meant to cripple your brain, and grab your little curious mind into finding out if she's really not one. No-one drops a bombshell for nothing.

Here's my bitter, but true analysis regarding this shit. It's undeniably an attempt to grab your attention. You don't often see REAL people bearing a phrase in relation to that. I can think of a thousand reasons to back my claims but all of it would come to nothing, other than stab wounds and a night in hospital.

(Take note; I'm stating a claim that has persistently been seen and heard of in this stained community of teenagers. This isn't a publicity stunt to go along with the anti-mats and minah blogs to gain popularity. Fame should never overthrow the truth. And truth is, it's this part of the community that obscure the purity of our people)

Drop a tag if you agree or better yet.. If you DISAGREE.

Love you all.
Peace, from the author of The Diary of a broken man.

2009-09-11T23:21:00.001+08:00

For an I.D photo. I have the worst. - FML.

10 facts.

2009-09-07T18:40:00.000+08:00

For as much as I'd wanna get wasted doing completely nuffin' for this whole week. I got thrown to my senses with the phrase, "Let's not fuck up" stuck in my head. No shit man. I have an arrogant brain.

Aight, let's not be too typical with my posting.
Maybe some-ef you don't even know me. So, let's start with some simple shit.
This maybe the cheesiest thing you'll ever come across, but I'ma tell you 10 serious facts about me. Check it-

p.s; Seriously, the only reason I'm doing this is to keep my blog alive. hehehehe.

1) I am completely nuts about football. Thus, the strong admiration I have for Arsenal FC. My deep devotion will cause a crazy tendency for me to cry whenever Arsenal loses. hehehehe.

2) Honestly, I'm paranoid about my stuffs. I touch myself every now and then to make sure that my wallet and phone is still there in my pockets. I had this crazy experience when I was holding on to my phone texting someone and I got frantic at the thought of losing my phone becuz my front pocket was completely empty before I realised that my phone was on my hand the hold time. I've never felt any stupider in my whole life.

3) I'm always afraid of having a relationship. I got hurt soo many times, I can't even imagine if I can take another cold blow to the heart the next time it comes.

4) I have always enjoyed school since stepping into secondary school for the first time. But school becomes a complete nightmare when you actually START studying. It's true. Look at me now, I'm living the nightmare already.

5) I have this unusual craze for food. Ironically, I've never succeeded in gaining weight. Sometimes I get jealous at the simplicity of my giant mates gaining weight. It's not as easy as you think man. I've tried and constantly failed.

6) The first album I had my hands on was Nsync's. Followed by Britney Spears.

7) I had my first serious crush when I was in Primary 3. I sent her countless of love letters and she got so fucked up till she threatened to tell her mom. Haha! In the end we hooked up when we were in primary 6, though we didn't enjoy a very long one.

8) I have had countless numbers of relationships over the past 15 years of my life. But honestly, I've only enjoyed the ones I had in secondary school, although I had to go through less-fairytale endings.

9) I was really depressed when I was posted into East View Sec. It was my 5th choice and I was clueless about where it is, how it looked like or even how good it is. Of course when I first came, this school was as bad as bedok town or the other gangster schools you guys would come to know of. But as years passed and the school evolved. I think it's been pretty okay really. And I've finally come to realise that the lads and I have replaced the older generations as the present devils. Certainly, no regrets at all.

10) I was once so deeply affected by a break up, I cried the whole night showering tears all over my bed and pillow till I fell sick the next day. It was that horrific and that bad man. What can I say. That was my first major relationship.

All this shit is completely true and no lies at all.
This was supposed to be stupid. So don't slam me for this, duchebags.

Love you guyz.

2009-09-06T16:01:00.000+08:00

I've got myself a new blog for my personal thoughts. Check it out. Just click the "onsugar" link at the top of my blog.

Peace.

Hangover.

2009-08-31T17:22:00.000+08:00

Hands down, the most classic hardcore adult comedy of all time. Beats all of em' American Pie(s) and even euro/roadtrip! This movie is recommended for those who appreciates comedy and take adult humour to heart. It's gonna fuckin' glue you to your seat and your jaws will ache from all the laughing. Certainly, the presence of Bradley cooper(the middle dude in the picture) makes it all worthwhile. From the cursing to everything. No shit man. These guys are really funny. The storyline seems totally spontaneous. The characters differ in personalities. The cast is perfect. From the shithead, the charming guy, the groom and the dentist. The director is a complete genius. HBO won't be able to handle this for sho'.
Now who doesn't wanna be an actor when you can curse the hell outta yourself and get laid in vegas? That's a dream come true, really.

Another awesome movie would be, "I love you, man". Another movie about brotherly pals and weddings. What's up with 2009 comedies? It's all about the weddings. If that's the source of humour. Then the whole world has a lot to laught at man.

Aight, let's swing it. Teachers day wasn't a bad affair. But obviously it was one heckuva boring and sleepy day. After following the lads head back to their Primary schools, I raced home to catch some sleep. And I must say, it's one of the most enjoyable sleep I have had in months! Now, I just woke up to the smell of the beautiful kitchen. Another hour and glory it is, for me. I may come back in a few hours time.

Cuz I'm gonna get the fuck outta here.
Thank you for reading, worms.

P.S; Stoked for tomorrow! Heading down to Teh Tarek for a feast.

Love you all.

2009-08-27T22:13:00.000+08:00

Greetings.

Let's just start off with a little short post.

It's been an amazing fasting month, so far.
But the week's been scattered with many tests. I couldn't even find time for a little dose of Internet connection. Tragic as it is, I made up for it with a whole lot of quality time with my bed. Restored satisfaction, I'll say.
The lads made the week completely enjoyable with their library antics and violent display of affection. We showed brotherly love through wrestling and having 5 people piling against each other. Painful, but pleasant to watch. HAHA.

On a side note,
Love is handed out like pointless pieces of paper that holds no more than a tiny meaning. My intentions were clear. I am dead serious. But troubling as it seems, love splits you into half like a watermelon- To commit, or not to commit. We chose the worst of times to be enjoying each other's company. But honestly, I am to be blamed.
Endlessly, I love you.

Night, space angels.

2009-08-22T21:55:00.001+08:00

To clear the air,
I am indecisive. I am always confused and I can be over my head at times. To those who had to bear having your ears burned in hot wax just listening to the things i have to say. Sincerely, i apologize. I may have disgruntled a few people over the months. But to be honest, my views were expressed in many different ways that may have led to a sudden misperception. Clearly, I am already deeply confused and I'm still in a very similar state as I was a few months ago. Life's getting difficult. Especially with the challenges of fasting, now that the fasting month has started.
I'm facing exhaustion mentally and physically. Honestly, No one knows me more than my phone and my little laptop. I often check on myself so as not to be a burden to the people around me. I want to be as invisible and as light as a feather. But sometimes, i falter. I fail to keep the lid of my problems closed. And now I'm just as unbelonging as a rugged tablecloth swept under an old dumpster.

Goodnight.

School reflection.

2009-08-14T12:23:00.003+08:00

Sec 3E EL Straits Times Blogging TERM 3 WEEK 4

1) Pg 4: Her world’s a stage

Do you consider yourself an artistic person?

What are your opinions of the theatre scene in Singapore?

Answer:
I don't really consider myself an artistic person as visual arts don't really interest me. But I do enjoy watching plays and the way the performers try to reach out to the audience. Amazing, really.
I think the theatre scene is doing well in Singapore as more and more popular plays are being held in Singapore. It's a good thing as children tend to enjoy plays more as it isn't as complicated as trying to understand the storyline of a movie.

2) Pg 10: Drink-and-Eat MRT Riders on the rise

Reflection Question:

How do you feel about MRT commuters eating and drinking blatantly on the train?

Answer:
I think the authorities should be a little lenient on the “no-eating law”. Its understandable that commuters would likely need a light snack or a bottled mineral water to quench their thirst during their long journey on board the MRT. Unless they’re drinking beer right out of the can or eating packed rice out of its container, then should they be subjected to fines. Fines shouldn’t just be handed out like pamphlets. They should be properly assessed and fines don’t necessarily be issued because the sign says no eating. For a country like Singapore, self-rights is important. If the authorities are more bothered about keeping the country clean, then what happens to the welfare of people who’s afraid to even take a sip right out of their bottle? Commuters too should know better that Macdonalds or heavy food are not allowed in the MRT. I think it should be alright if only light food are allowed on the MRT. It makes the law more sensible.

----------

Sec 3 E/ N(A) Straits Times Reflection Week 6

Article: “Government acts to curb younger smokers” (Pg A1 & A4)

Questions:

1. What are some measures by the government to curb smoking?

2. How successful do you think these measures would be?
Support your answer with reasons.

1) The fines that are going to be imposed on young smokers will be expensive. Almost the same amount imposed on people who buys contraband cigarettes. There are also restrictions in which shops are licenced to sell tobacco. And for shops who sell cigarettes to those under 18, their licence will be revoked and they will have to endure a hefty fine.

2) These measures won't be entirely succesful overnight. But it's a prolonged measure to curb young smokers from taking up smoking. The number of underage smokers would probably decline over the coming years now that the authorities hold a very strong stand against youngsters smoking. With the hefty fines, youngsters would probably think twice about lighting up and shop owners won't likely risk losing their shops just to satisfy these youngsters need for cigarettes. Without easy access to cigarettes, the number of underage smokers would probably decline. Thus, it would be succesful over a period of time.

That's all, Miss Tan!

(Check out my twitter or myspace for the weekend updates guyz. Thanks.)

Keep secretz.

2009-08-13T23:15:00.000+08:00

A sense of emotion, completely inferior to the sense of mere elation. I am one happy young man.

I've endured months of patience and loneliness. Tough times and times when depression comes looming like persistent dark clouds on a December day. One can only be relieved to discover a medallion, stuffed deep within pointless treasures that could only benefit one's greed. And I, for one, am more than relieved. It beats the feeling of eating 200 cheeseburgers in my room while tuning to Family Guy, fo' sho.

I've went thru and learned the difficult way to find joy and happiness amidst depression and utter misery beyond the cluttered mess left behind by past lovers. My pair of hands needn't catch fire for a 3rd time. This time, I have the world at my fingertips. I'm seeking for redemption and a new phone to satisfy my greater need for easy texting. An Iphone perhapz?

I am deeply paralyzed by the power of love.
If I knew it felt this great.
I wouldn't ever wanna be relieved from paralysis.
I love this.

I love every single one of you.
Have a great night.

2009-08-11T02:20:00.000+08:00

Woweee.
If there's one feeling that I'd wanna keep for the rest of my short life...
It would be love. Right d? :D

My apologies guyz. At 2.30am, don't expect anything deep or completely intrusive. I'm here to dish out just a lil' sumthing.

If you're wondering why I'm up at this time-af' hour, it's becuz i've been given an all clear to not attend school tomorrow. It's gonna be heaven, my friends. So I visited a small portion of Korea yesterday evening. Well, you guessed it-Seoul Garden.

I couldn't have asked for anything better man. For once, I felt like I've not eaten for years. But after just an hour of eating, it finally got to me- I ATE TOO MUCH!
Sometimes when you eat, you'll reach that level of satisfaction. Where you've had enuff and you enjoyed it a lot. But this time around, I went past the level of satisfaction. Food became an enemy. Unbearable really. A lil' too much for a normal young man.
Now this is what I call, the food Hangover. or more often than not, the Seoul Hangover.
Imagine the thought of Tom Yam chicken, Teriyaki Chicken and all the chicken you can find.. All stuffed in that fist sized tummy(I dont know this really). It'd be only about time before it tears itself apart like an atomic bomb. I'm glad it didn't.
This is only, the first of my many quest towards satisfying myself with good food before the fasting month looms.
Anyone of you up for big buffets, naked bars and hyped up men clad in underwear?
Ring me up!

I have to make do with this lame post.
If it's something deeper and more overly-dramatic you guyz were hoping for.
Check out my myspace. For once, I put on something after a 7 month hiatus.

Goodnight.

2009-08-08T17:33:00.002+08:00

Hello all of you.
If you're wondering why you've been staring at the same ol' blog posts for the past 6 days. It's becuz the administrator, Mister Amirul Shazzani or to put it easier, myself, has been making the most out of his free time to get on with the things he has missed out over the course of the year.
When I get home from an exhaustingly awesome day, updating this dump would be the last thing on my mind. Thus, the almost dead blog. But i'm here now, with my writings acting as a defibrillator. It's time to be revived.

Enuff said, The week's been swell.
Perfect balance of Highs and Lows. There was endless fun and pure laziness all bundled up into one fine week. I enjoyed my trip to the somewhat huge Mangrove Swamp. Honestly, It's beauty would even stun the most ardent of Megan fox's fan. I'm actually surprised to not know about this heck of a natural beauty when it's only a 5 minute walk from my house. How about that for living under a rock?
I've enjoyed well-spent times in the park, and footie and not to forget.. Extensive bonding sessions with my classmates. National Day celebration and everything else was just pure enjoyment for a dude who's missed out on so much fun. I shouldn't fret too much though, I've got a whole 4 day break to catch up with sleep and just enjoy life without textbooks. But it's gonna be short-lived though. Bummer.

Since I'm back now infront of my little laptop and doing all the catching up on the news, facebook and the other cool webbies. Expect more random updates that's gonna feed on your mind, guyz.

Also, please be reminded guyz(to the muslims). Eat whatever you can and whatever you can find. For the next few weeks, you'd be seeing yourself slumped on your chair and day-dreaming about food all day long. Have fattening meals and scrumptious buffets. Fasting months cumin'.

Love all of you and you too ;D

2009-08-02T17:29:00.006+08:00

What's up guyz.

FINALLYYYY(!) My life's slowly beginning to see a better light of day.
I am beginning to love the presence of my classmates, and I'm also coming to terms with my status as a nerd.
For the recent weeks, I've been doing stuffs that I've not been able to do for a long time. I actually enjoyed myself.
Breaking racial boundaries, exploring the world of nerds, stepping into the window of my two year old brother, and downright falling in love. What more could a fun-deprived boy ask for?
I had a great time with the little dude on a saturday afternoon running around my neighbourhood playground. I was half-way to being dead after an hour of running and he was still there heading for his 16th round on the slide. Huge enthusiasm.
It's so hard now to put things in words, cuz there's been so many things going around and I really think a glass of cherryade would just do the thang. But there's only 7-up in the fridge. Screw this shit.

I was out when Mom brought home a huge sofa. Now, I've been sticking my butt up this thing for the past few hours. It has won my heart in becoming my favourite chair of All-Time. This thing will kiss my butt everyday from today onwards. Damn, I feel like a prince.
Anyone wna hook up with me yet? I'm up for Seoul garden next week.

This ol' dump is pissin' me off. I can't upload any shitz. Fuck you B-logger.

Till then.
I love you more than green.

2009-07-30T20:32:00.000+08:00

It was clearly, one helluva unique experience to have a chance to enter the Da Vinci Exhibition and the Science Center. I was glad, I had this little tinge of nerdy feeling when I got there. It's like fantasizing Peter Pan and believing the Science Center was Neverland. I know guyz. It's that bad. School has turned me into some young scientist from GeekKidz.

So we got a sneak peek into Leonardo's extraordinary brain, and the famous artpieces we all have come to know about. The exhibition itself says one thing. GENIUS. I'd throw my dreams of being the next Fernando Torres just to have that brilliant little brain man. Jam-packed with smart juice and one badass left hand. Look at Mona Lisa. A plain Canvas was transformed into One of World's most famous artpieces. Now that's what I call, fuckin' rad. Thoroughly, I enjoyed myself. I enjoyed the company of my classmates and the sick stuffs science center had instore.

Will this do till the weekends loom?
Gonna be a buzy night. Time to get ready my Jar of Nutella.

P.S; Guyz, I'm a happy man.

Missed.

2009-07-26T04:04:00.000+08:00

It took me so many months to realise that I miss my 2008 friends. A whole fuckin' lot.
Tira, meera, Zilli, suhaila and practically everyone. My classmates, the fun, the footie, the laughter, the days without stress.
What am I and what have we become? We're practically strangers.
My bestfriends make my world just so fuckin' rad. Now, we're all busy with our own things. It's a tough thing to swallow. I'd like another day to the wet market with you guyz, the ol' times, really.
I'm sick of 2009. It tears me. It's eating me up slowly.

Love you guyz. Hope you guyz read this someday.

One outta two.

2009-07-25T14:43:00.003+08:00

Take me away,
for fleeting moments will brush us apart,
Sweeping away love notes,
as we head north in a tiny cart.
Darling, grab hold of fast times,
and let us remain a wreck.
The perfect things we lack,
will all mean nothing,
for affection will hold us back.
But I'm torn between two worlds,
My heart caught between deep ends of the world.
plagued by thoughts of seclusion,
as I was left,
drowning in a sea of confusion.
So grab me any of you,
while i'm still here.
Love me,
before I disappear.

My days have been a lot stranger these days.

2009-07-20T20:38:00.003+08:00

I have been in the dark-side of the turn tables. The silence grew, the problems surged to destroy me and my happiness could only do little to restore this once jovial boy. I step into depression chamber, every five days of the week, to discover that my brain is made into a toy. One that's compressed every now and then by numbers and graphs and basic trigonometry that's yet to fulfill it's wrath. I couldn't explain my sombre thoughts, let alone feel at ease in silence. I was never made to be silent. It destroys me. It eats me up like maggots feeding on decomposed shit. Grotesquely inevitable. I used to enjoy waking up in the morning, knowing that I would enjoy my day and nothing else. But things don't necessarily become what you want it to be. It becomes worse. It becomes a drag, and it makes you feel like a bum. I had always wished that i'd have my voice again someday. The voice that portrays an image of a boy, who's passionate about being a kid, and having fun, creating laughfests after laughfests. No one pictures themselves as studious kids who looks forward to going home just to date and dine with textbooks and nudging glasses of cold cherryade that'd turn warm overtime. But then again, you come to realise that you have amazing friends who's there to guide you slowly but surely to the path of your ol' cheerful life. But all of that are wasted to the ones you hate, the ones that'll turn your head down in disgust. The one that makes tears flood your, if not swollen- beady little eyes. You cast a wry smile, and signal your intent to not reply. That's when the sense of self-destruction comes. You'll feel pale, sick, and your mind starts wondering why you're living to see this. Living to be in the shoes of a boy who was never used to loneliness. But was always, always used to the sense of pain. What worries me is that nothing or no one is there to be blamed for this unplanned predicament. It's only a matter of time before I drown in desperate cries for help or be thrown into complete isolation.

Give me therapy.

I don't wanna be smiling at everything, without having to feel obliged to.
I'm glad though. A kind soul has recognized the troubled thoughts that's threatening to burn this teen to the ground. I will hope to spill the world to you, when our wednesdays materialize.

Everyday is a useless attempt to stay happy. Thank you to the ones who took the time to understand me and talk to me. Love you.

2009-07-19T16:43:00.002+08:00

How's it goin', pretty people?

It's been a long time ain't it?
I'd like to apologize beforehand, cuz' this will be pretty short and messy. I'm just gonna throw in some things that's still managed to stay in my head cuz' I just got to know that tomorrow's a freaking school day. I gotta finish all those homeworks or else i'll be skinned alive.

Well, so far the week feels like a ride down the highway. Pretty bumpy and not-so-much fun, apparently. School's been pretty rough for me, and it doesn't help that I'm constantly drifting into my world of fast cars, rock-bands and Michael Jackson concerts. That doesn't mean my mental status has been altered by mathematics and crazy numbers. To be able to dream and imagine what life's like for the rich and famous is one fuckin' great past-time hobby. But the cynical reality is that, it gets you nowhere. Cruel ain't it?

I just wanna clear things up a lil', it's been said that my girl-looking bag is a ripoff. But truth is, my friends. It's ripcurl. When it comes to improvising the need to use girly bags, you'll get teased hardcore. An impressive one to date is, "Eh bagi bag pasar mak aku balek lah. Mak aku da biseng ni!" hahaha. A bunch of assholes, cracked me up like a cheesy hyenna.
Not to forget, to cap it all off... I met a new "13 year old" friend. An interesting person. So much that she got copied on facebook and friendster. Haha, goodluck with that dude.

Will be back when I'm not rusted by football.
Have a nice day.

Escape T.P

2009-07-13T00:44:00.004+08:00

It was an eventful weekend.
One that completes your day and fills you up with excitement till you cannot sleep. Like what's happening to me right now. Damn, I'm bummed. I Should've been tired instead so I could rest for school. But the night's not going my way. It's like I took cocaine and Viagra right after my nightly rounds of orange juice. I mean, i tore out my lungs with deafening screams, i ran around, i rode Ferrari(s) and Lamborghini(s) , i sailed boats, i rode on logs, I rode on flying saucers but never end up in space. But I'm as energized as mister moon who's looking down on me behind all the foggy lil' clouds. Guess it's a sign of a bad monday fer sho'.
I promise complete coverage of the fun I had with the lads, when I'm free from the crazy weekdays that's gonna keep me busy for a whole crazy week. Make do with what I have now. Cuz' it's gonna be a few days before I come visit this rundown scrapyard.

have a great monday guyz.
Love you.

2009-07-09T02:04:00.002+08:00

Paris and the rest of the Jackson family got me moved. I was overwhelmed.
The week has been simple and pretty much the same. It's all about footie, blisters and Michael Jackson. I've been sleepin' in way too late now. More often than not, my head would be slumped on my desk for a very enjoyable nap. But of course, one would anticipate his teacher to shout at him. And they did -.-
It's gonna be one tiring week. "who's lovin' you" has been caught up in my head eversince, and I'm gonna try turnin' in now.

Goodnight.

2009-07-06T22:28:00.006+08:00

Greetings Gypsy Pirates of the east.

The 4 day break gave me more than enuff time to run my thoughts wild. I've had so many hours with my pen and an open book. And I came up with 3 short poems. It was all I could afford. Cuz' writing a song would tear me up inside. Each word of a lyric may represent a thousand swords, stabbing and ravaging my mind. So make do with what I have, It's nothing fancy. Just little thoughts, that makes up for greater pain. This is one of em'. Eiyn-Joy!

Flowers.

What I see,
is what I cannot gain.
Like growing flowers,
without seeing them again.
My pain was oblivious to the eyes of many,
and to the heart of one.
Maybe it's time to pull the trigger,
and set off this gun.
It's a revelation and death is a therapy.
But I think it's a lie, cuz' love is hard to comply.
Tears you up inside, and makes you become anything.
But nothing like happy.

Love youz.

off day-no way.

2009-07-03T10:46:00.003+08:00

I was permitted an off day.
But it certainly isn't the best to date. I'm lying on my bed gettin' wasted and sucking the balls of my feet to ease the burning pain. Once again, my feet's tissues were torn. No thanks to a game of footie with the lads. But it was worth it ;D
You can't play everyday in the rain can you?
but then again, I can't enjoy myself for the next few days without having to literally feel needles protruding from under the ground everytime I stand up. Disappointment has narrowed itself on me. But worry not my friends, one shall keep himself occupied through a game of football... on the Teevee that is.

It's gonna be a very sophisticated day. Swollen feet, an empty tummy, and a mind at loss of words. Nothing could get as sophisticated as that can it?

It just hit me... I have a 4-day break! That's just too fuckin' rad. Gotta get these feet up and running now!

Till then.

2009-07-01T16:43:00.002+08:00

Can someone throw me a fancy bed for me to sleep on for 3 whole days?

It's great to be back in school, but I've been spending every moment of it feeling run down and the cold morning winds hasn't helped. I'm extremely grateful to be saved by the bell though. The sound of Kindergarten musical bells makes my day, definitely. But school's gettin' pretty tough, and I'm still not gettin' the hang of things. The homeworks are piling up and It's gonna be difficult to groom this wonderful scrapyard full of words as often as I want to. So, make do with lesser updates will ya? Summer's cumin and ATL's album is cumin. It's gonna be exciting.
I hope everything else changes too.
I can't go for another month blanketing pain and puttin' up concealer to cover up the nasty flaws that haunts me right up to my goodnight sleep.
My posts have grown to be boring for the past couple of months. My command of english is hangin' on a thread. No more master of words. I'm not even capable of writing another piece of poem. Bummer.

I'm about to chill and have a lil' bit of Xbox.
Takecare of yourselves during this swine season. Who knows you'd be next.

Till then.

Bad.

2009-06-28T13:11:00.004+08:00

It was a classic tale of Romeo & Juliet, But with a twist. Only the love is dead, but the lovers are living. Seven months ago, it was the poison in which I drank, but it didn't kill me. It was a method of torture. One of prolonged suffering to the heart, that still goes on till this very day. I could've chased after buses to your home, I could've brought you flowers and cast them as love offerings, to enlighten your heart a little. My chances were all but gone, but I could've given my all and hoped the paper heart I kept wouldn't just be words scribbled in black ink. I could, but I didn't. I faltered, I failed. I digress, to thoughts of love and interlocked hearts, and nights of tears, situations that men fears. But I live to lie to my lonely heart. It has spent too many months, tucked under layers of tissues and muscles that means nothing compared to a glowing feeling that comes only once in awhile. Now it's begging and screaming, for a chance to step out again and be free under the guidance of Mister cupid. I could try again, I know i won't fail. I won't disappoint. But who would it be next?

It's 6.22pm, the holidays have made me a complete waste. I've spent my time bathing in the heat of the sun, and smoking sisha while getting wasted and drifted to the arabian world. Now, it's only 5 hours till the Monday blues beckons. And I'm still finding time, to complete my huge pile of homework. I hope you guys enjoy the start of the school's second semester. Cuz' I wont.

Love you.

Torres Torres Torres~

2009-06-23T18:30:00.004+08:00

He was tryin' hard not to laugh at the dude's face at the end when asked about the prospect of playing in the A-league. Come on man, torres playing in Australia? He wouldn't even go to Real Madrid. This guy is a legend by all means. If you guys wanna turn gay, turn gay for this dude over here man. At least it's worth it, dontcha think? Torres Torres Torres~

Here's another cheesy video that features the hottest man alive on the pitch. Forget cristiano ronaldo man, It's all about torres now.

I probably won't post for a couple of weeks. I bet school won't bring anything fancy to post about anyway.

Till then.

school fools.

2009-06-22T21:35:00.003+08:00

School Fools.

Aye yo.

I hope the poll on Channel NewsAsia's webby puts pressure on the ministry to close down schools. Atleast I know I won't have to drag myself outta bed and get a fuckin' shower, and have long rides to school on a packed bus with situations that can go either way. Either stuck shoulder to shoulder with a hot chick, or mashed by fat bastards who smells like poop. I've had my share of bad bus rides. And it ain't good.

I won't be beggin' for school. Well, not yet. I come to school praying hard that the day ends faster, so that I could go home and take my baby-nap or play footie with the lads. The world's bummed man. You come to realise that you've actually wasted your life waiting for cars to stop and the "Green Man" to appear just to get to the other side of the road. And tearing your brain apart at the end of your secondary school year just to get yourself a fuckin' piece of paper that will be framed and displayed on your empty side of the wall. But what does it all boil down to? Probably the thoughts of a kid who's sick of pressure.
Scratch that man, bring me back to my senses. I love my life.
But not during the phase when everything speeds up like a Maglev train.

It sucks. But i'ma work hard for something I hate.
Enuff' said.

2009-06-20T23:31:00.003+08:00

As promised, I'm here to post on last Wednesday's sisha day and my late night with my bestfriend.

The journey started off great, but before the fun finally materialized, everything started becoming blunt. For a moment, it turned as sour as the smell of berg's pits. I was initially bummed man, didn't know why'd they get so pissed. In the end, we got what we wanted. And they got back to their senses. Much expected, the atmosphere was off the wall afta that. We spent a whole two hours chillin' and hangin' while deliberately hogging the sisha. For once, I felt like a selfish Arabian! The place was awesome, the sisha was magnifique, the journey home was Inch-perfect. I think in a list of 10, this would probably be the second best day in this fast-tracked June Holidays. The first of course, the barbeque pit.

Also, I had one of my best night out with Amirul Hakim yesterday. I was bummed to have walked all the way to downtown just to fetch him. I almost pissed on my pants walking in the middle of the road at 1am. There was nothing. No sight of cars, No man in sight. Just me and my phone with All Time Low's tracks blastin' off. But the cold night breeze by the beach and the long walk home alone was clearly a wonderful experience. Thanks for the day bro. I'll be beggin' Ahmad to follow suit tonight.

June holidays are quickly fading away. I love you June. You've brought many adventures and misadventures to my empty life. I hope H1N1's gonna bring it to a further one week. I'd be the happiest man alive if that happens.
Skip school, be a drag queen!

Till then.

2009-06-18T01:36:00.002+08:00

stepping into the confession booth,
highly intoxicated,
his only intention was to seek for the truth,
that boils down to pain and anger,
all in all,
enough to portray himself as a troubled youth.
Deeply aware that naked lights and cigarettes,
have brought nothing to resist the temptation of suicide,
he spiraled into depression,
and searched for solace in the form of the lion's den
- For a change of heart, and an angel in hand.

I wrote something for a change, before I return to fully-squeezed details of my Arabian evening. I'll be up in another 15 hours. Have to get some hard-end sleep after one helluva day out. Before that, I'm gonna be a noob and tune into High School Musical 3 on Mio Tv. This thing has great shit in-store. I'm stoked.

Love you guys.

2009-06-17T21:30:00.002+08:00

I will be back with little tales about my Arabian adventure with the rest of the Brady bunch. No tale is complete without pictures right? I'll hit em' up pretty soon.
For now, gua otak stim ah bebbbb!

Till then.

2009-06-15T16:22:00.002+08:00

I'm currently bloggin' with my iTouch. I feel like a freakin' noob. But this is the apple era right? Time to get an iPhone!

Amanda, Amanda, Amanda<3

2009-06-13T03:17:00.004+08:00

Can someone please give Amanda Bynes my number?
I wanna nail her! But No seriously, I'd be fine if you gave me someone who's just like her. And I promize I'd stop my crazy fetish for guys. Haha, dont worry guyz. I ain't gay you fuckin' fags. So don't come and get me.

Amanda, I'm in love with you. I think you're the only person who effortlessly made me have a boner. For that, I thank you.

I'm watchin' Amanda on "Sydney White" and I'm relishing every minute of it. I'm halfway to the dungeon of boredom and I have no more chicken wings or cup noodles to feed my monstrous fist-sized tummy. I guess I better roll on to my bedsheets, count a thousand sheeps and leave this pretty little web alone.

Have some sleep guyz. Have a great day ahead.
Love you.

2009-06-11T00:08:00.001+08:00

I enjoyed this day.
I don't have tales of my adventures with my mates, but only memories to keep and relive.
You would've known how much fun we had through the other blogs.
First and foremost, I would like to thank all of you for such a great day. The biggest thank you, of course to Berg for makin' all this happen and the cooks for whippin' up great barbecued chicken wings and hotdogs covered in hot sauce.
Now, I'm startin' to miss the waterbreaker moments and Qadri's whacked-out moments, and the countless number of sticks we consumed, the footie session, everything.

The day ended so quickly, the fun was short-lived, but the memories says it all. It's all worth it.

The perfect ending to an eventful day would be a ride home with two guys on the silent side of the road. I was completely moved guyz, it couldn't have been a better day and a better night without you guys. You guys are a bunch of lovely people. Love you all to bitz.

Till then.

2009-06-09T22:28:00.004+08:00

For once, I was like the atomic bomb we all have come to know about. The minute I dropped on my bed hard, I fell asleep straight, like a fat boy tired after a 10 minute run.
Lunch was simple but expensive, was amazed at how full I was.
The plan next was to dump chicken wings into tubs of black pepper sauce and play a lil' with em'. But we ended up facing Ahmad's huge TV battling hilariously for the Konami Cup on his PS2.
Well, you guessed it. The "Arsenal Supremo" won it hands down.

Tomorrow will be well spent fer sho'. For once, I'm more than stoked to roll around in sand while eatin' chicken wings in the presence of my own group of loverrliesss. I'm gonna party like I've never partied before tomorrow. Get set Mister fun, I'm comin' fer ya!

I would like to point out my new found admiration for the sickest poet ever lived, Eminem.
His sick rhymes will fuckin' blow your mind like crazy. In this era of crap rap, there's only eminem to put rap at the top of the charts. Even Mister Shakespeare himself loses by a mile. My point is.. Don't appreciate rap, appreciate Eminem for glamourizing rap by laying it with dope lyrics than 50 cent who makes up for his shit with bling-bling and Chicks.

Have a great night.

Dido and double dido

2009-06-08T01:43:00.003+08:00

Dido

So, I was told by a bimbo that this picture looks distorted. Well, does it?

So I've rounded off what I'd be doing for the next couple of days. And the event that would largely be affecting my "till-1pm-sleep" is none other than Additional Maths. Once again you have proved to be an utter misery.
It's been a Love-and-hate June holidays so far, most likely due to the overwhelming dates to come for classes. Fortunately, there are plenty of days left for me to let loose and have a go at fun with the lads.
With classes occupying every bit of my time, at least there's a barbecue that I'm stoked for. I'm looking forward to lettin' my mind off things that have instinctively caused me to worry about and just have fun with the people I love and have come to love for the last 3 years. Chicken wings and grilled hotdogs are to die for. Gonna be an awesome week fer sho'.

Double Dido.

For once, I'm not tied up by a life that recognizes friendship in the form of books and compasses that keeps all that math in line. It's time I get goin' on my own and stop running myself into the wall of self-inflicted pain. We need to get used to the fact that tough love is worth fighting for. No matter your rough relationship with your brother, or occasional bullshit from the girl of your dreams. Shit happens, and I'd always ask for a pillow to hug when that happens. A kiss would be nice too. But my point would be to discourage the people who gives up upon some rough patch that tears you up like a little kid. It's this insanely hurtful tough-love that makes me wanna keep breathing fresh air with my ears and following small streams that end up in huge long rivers. It's this thing that makes us all unique- Tough love.
We could be throwing knives at each other knowing that our love is there. But of course, one would be sane enuff' not to do that. In the end, it boils down to the real friends, and the pretentious ones. The ones that pushes the blame instead of taking some into his own account. Fuckshit. Certain ones just need to get a mirror for themselves. Keep it real man. On the contrary, we all will come to love each other someday. It's just a matter of when and how.

Have a great night. I'm done talking for now. Get your heads up, the Sun is calling for a day out in a few hours time.

Till then.

2009-06-07T01:45:00.003+08:00

This is a true classic. Alex is an amazing frontman.
My dream will be staring at the thousand pair of eyes glued to me, under the spotlight of a giant platform hearin' me out from giant speakers. Like those kickass bands, I will live to tell my tale up on that stage, with a pretty microphone in hand.

Everyone dreams to be an Alex Gaskarth; Everyone dreams to be in a band like All Time Low; Everyone would wanna be as fluid on the guitar as Santana is. But one thing's for sure, it's gonna be hard. But it's only a far-stretched dream. All you gotta do is chase for it. And that's what I'm gonna do.

Now, open me the gates where the devil dances,
for the pauper brings a bag of gold,
to catch his dreams that are growing old.

Till then.

Loony day.

2009-06-04T18:57:00.002+08:00

So use this noggin' chicks! ;D

Spent more than an hour going back and forth the Malls of Tampines. We had hoped for a nifty catch for us to take home. But no-shit man, we came back with nuthin'. The fishes came in when we stepped out. No one would've asked for such hard luck, would they? But it wasn't as bad of a day nor was it disastrous. It was just 3 Jejaka Idaman(Dream Guyz) and their sharp double eyes that was put on task for an undisclosed objective. We hopped from fashion labels to electrix-crazy shops. We went from Headphones to webcams before ending it all with a duel on the PS3. We chocked on embarrassment, we left a shop a couple of our own goofy souvenirs. From pictures inside the laptops, to Digital then DSLR cameras.
It was all good and pretty great to be hangin' with these 2 lads. It would be all too perfect if someone actually tipped the bait. But I'm all good, and in dire need of a well-deserved rest. Movies were a blast. The actress from "18 year old virgin" is one cute chick. Check it out.

And also check out my twitter. I'm gonna update her more than Madamme' blogger herself. Twitter takes a fraction of a second, and I love it.
Sorry oldie, blogger ain't the shit no more.

Till the dust sets.
Goodnight.

2009-06-02T20:07:00.003+08:00

My recent update on twitter. True enough, I pretty much miss every single one of you bastards. I can't really single out any names right now, cos everyone of you are amazing people. It's times like this that you start missing all of your good ol' mates. Drop whatchu doin' and come hang guys. It's been awhile since we had breakfast and dinner together. It's about time we sleep under the same covers too. Is that too much to ask for? HAHA.

Well, tomorrow's oral. I would be enthusiastic instead of petrified, if it was oral sex. Damn, why does education have to be like this? Wish me luck. I don't wanna stutter in the face of the most powerful woman(literally.)

I'm gonna dig into my dinner. Smells fuckin' delish'.
Till then.

Shoesy-woozy

2009-06-01T01:12:00.003+08:00

Thank you mom and dad. Love ya guyz. Would gladly follow-suit, on your next trip across the causeway. Shoe-woo. Unbelievable pricing. Off the wall! Can't find it cheap in Singapore can you?

I would also like to acknowledge Ahmad and my sister for bringing light into this largely eventful, if not, boring day. Town was amazing. Mom's out of town, So I splashed out on food knowing that I had 20 bucks in hand. Chippy's got my tummy full like a fuckload of Teriyaki Chicken from Seoul Garden. Except, Chippy's only 145 grams. Yikez, & fried chicken rice at the best local eatery in town for dinner was awesome. Could a Sunday get any better than this? Fuckin' off the wall.
It was a lovely, lovely day. But the crowd was rough man. From a distance, it's like watching a massive number of sardines walking down the street. Gruesome sight.

You must be wondering what's all about the "off the wall" Shit. Well you find out then you lil' fucks. Don't get laid on this cold night guyz. Stay current!

I'm gonna suck my thumb now while waiting for Mister Blanket to put this tired Prince back to bed.
Goodnight, you little fairies.

Beauty through broken glass.

2009-05-30T03:10:00.004+08:00

Glass hailed from the sky tonight
I couldn't hide to save my life.
Standing drenched from open wounds.
You took my hand, and pulled me through.

I want to give you everything
Ill give you my all because you gave me
You gave me your lips
A gentle kiss
The medicine to cure my pain

Listen to all this glass shatter.
Once pierced my ears and made them bleed.
Now sounds so beautiful
Cause you're beautiful.
You're beautiful.

Kudos to Eyes Set To Kill for writing such a beautiful song. On top of that, a perfect singer who made this song so fuckin' rad and deep. Their lyrics have always been a bandage for my wounded heart. But sadly, this voice no longer belongs to Eyes Set To Kill, for they have a new lead singer. But nevertheless, this song shows the emotions of something that you will be desperately begging for, but despising it the next- Love.

I believe love is the closest thing to the word, beautiful.
Something that I have experienced and something I long to experience again.
Am I unworthy to be reached out by a kind soul, equipped with unconditional love and a heart unlike any other? As cynical as it is, I have been made a fool numerous times. I am unfazed, I would take risks, I would love to die knowing that I have loved and have been loved by someone with the most beautiful heart made visible to me by one thing - Love. I have met a girl who has taught me a lot even though our memories were short-lived. You were the cherry to sum up, probably the most pivotal year of my life. You're my flower- One I'd water and adore everyday. One I'd admire and laugh at. One that would colour my nose with beautiful aroma. I was indeed a happy little kid watching your hair fly amidst the strong wind, and watching the currents washed up against the shore. Now, I'm just a stumbling mess begging for a beauty-made-in-heaven to sweep me up into a dustpan taking the shape of a heart. More often than not, I am lost beneath uncertainty. But I slip out the most precious piece of paper in my wallet every now and then, wishing that a painting of our forgotten memories would come to life again, finding it's way to the path of our hearts. But a boy could only dream of a fairytale ending. He wishes she knew. But for the mean time, I am just a boy who loves the colour green.

I love you, I love you guys too.

Till then. (Gonna be a long time before I start posting again.)

Sheer fear dear.

2009-05-29T15:41:00.002+08:00

I would like to express my fear for this evening's Parent teacher conference.
I expect a massive line of complaints all lined up on my teacher's tongue. I admit, I've been a pretty bad-boy in school.
Yes ma'am, I am a lad who ends his sentences with an expletive and end up in detention at the end of the day.
Yes ma'am, I've been kicked out of class many times, for being overly mischievous in my adventures in search for fun with the lads.
No sir,
I am a quiet young boy in times of utter loneliness and in the presence of a class that are filled with people who blurts out lame jokes that don't seem funny at all.

I admit, I have the most bizarre case of split personalities. Loud and extremely whacked out, then quiet and a picture of a nerd the next.
Wish me luck guys, for I would be drowned by evil grins plastered on the faces of my adoring teachers.

Till then.

2009-05-26T23:22:00.002+08:00

Raffles whaattt?!

Thank you for welcoming me, Mister "Raffles museum of biodiversity research." I felt completely at ease- just like the dead, preserved animals in the water jars.

You might be asking.. Biodiversity what siallll?!
It's a clubbing scene for preserved animals. No please, don't believe me. It's actually a museum that tells you if not a lot.. then at least more info', than anything else that occupies the capacity of your punneyh brain. All that raffles shit; the preserved animals kept in alcohol-contained containers; the great fall!(teeheehee~). It was all, well spent on a cold, rainy day. Check it outz on your free time man. Or ring me up if you wanna chill in the company of dead animals.
Biodiversity sounds like the new shit man. Bio-researcher I'm stoked to be you.. one hopeful day that is. Forests, I'm excited to meet you and conserve you.

Leonardo DiCaprio is an inspirational man when it comes to matters of the earth. A Leo Prio in the making perhaps? Hehe. Now don't write me off, assholes. You might just be seeing the most inspirational-cum-dashing man behind the heroic acts of wildlife conservation. But not now. :D
For now, I'll be repairing the last gaping wound in my heart.

Shadows.

2009-05-24T11:21:00.003+08:00

Tear down the blinds,
that keeps you in-shade from your world of lies.
Young, tongue-tied and afraid,
you laid down your lies on scarred walls,
knowing that it wouldn't fade.
You present yourself a troubled youth,
smoking cigarettes when the world's not going your way.
You drank your thousand lies,
drunk and unfazed by rapid changes,
to social circles that has a price to pay.
You missed the times,
when shades of gray were replaced by
coloured walls and a spinning vision of friendship.
Now, it's all lost in a blur of context,
when your mind was once in place.
Complete me my dear fairies, for I'm in doubt.

Thank you.

2009-05-22T20:50:00.002+08:00

I haven't been sweet-smelling in two days. It's hard work getting around, it's even harder getting under the shower. Thank you trusty-feet for tearing yourself apart like grilled plastic. School lacks the urgency after Mister exams came and went. It's like watching soap opera without any purpose. Probably, academic pressure is kinda fun? Fuckshit, i think I've been revolutionized! Prove me wrong, Mister brain. I hope I won't be wearing over-the-top geek glasses with little stars at the corner of the frame anytime sooner. Yikez.

What does it take to ask, for a day of fun, gathered around the people you love most. The ones that's spent so much time with you for the past 3 years in school? Well all that's eluding already. That tight friendship, those priceless moments. All eluding in the empty shade of time. No one's blaming nuffin'. I'd like to point out the fact that gloomy faces and mood-less talks occasionally hung in the air. I'm sleepin' in. Bed. Night.

Till then.

2009-05-20T23:00:00.002+08:00

As much as I would like to put up some hard shit here, I can't.

I have brought upon myself self-destruction of my own feelings. One that I cannot describe. I'm on a high to hell, memories burned, ashes placed in a nutshell. Thanks a million to an unlikely bus number 15 for making my day. It's like torturous pleasure. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was in a Japanese Batsu Game. I used all, if not, most of my strength in-depth to hold on to my lip, tight. Hoping not to laugh.

Now, it's all good bein' able to chill out at home and do nuffin'.

P.S; Nothing feels better than double blisters and a fucked up toenail.(I hit my toe on my cabinet 10 seconds ago. Fuck-it)

Till then.

Will be back in a matter of dayzzz.

2009-05-19T20:40:00.002+08:00

Whaddup guyz.

Many thoughts are squirming at the back of my head. And it doesn't help that today was a day filled with mixed feelings of elation and disappointment. But the biggest question hanging over my head is... IS MEGAN FOX REALLY A DUDE?

The reports seemed real. But in my eyes, she's a rare gem found only once in a century. I'd be dumbfounded to know that the hottest chick ever lived, was a dude. AM I GAY OWHAT MAN?
Devastating.

Till then.

2009-05-17T23:16:00.001+08:00

Good Night, you cheeky lil' leprechauns.

What's a week without fun, in light of the long-awaited ending of examinations in celebratory fashion. I've had a wonderful time recently after the exams catching up on the things I've missed upon the long hours of sleeping and night times spent studying vigorously. I checked out Fifa 09 for the first time since ages and got completely, fuckin' hooked to it. Got back to my old ways of playing football everyday and that proved costly when i got myself an injury to my calf muscle which lasted for two and half days. My muscles experienced excruciating pain that never knew the word pleasure. But I'm all good and happy and back from a day in town. Fruitful day to say the least.

I'm making this a short one. No appetizers to spice up this blog post though. I am rightfully sorry.
I'll come up with something of a greater scale the next time I click on to this filthy piece of shit.

Till then.

Love always.

Murder She wrote

2009-05-13T16:52:00.002+08:00

Effortlessly, she pinned me down with her carefully weighted words.
Sceptic, I let loose and got my hopes on par with the world.
Pretentious, her smile giving away a perfect lie.
At the absence of evidence,
You started reading your alibi.
It's your conviction,
for a brutal spat to my heart.
It's not a chance to play a game,
on stilts and tables lined up with poker cards.
Time will tell a story of your broken dreams.
I narrate the scenes of heartbreak,
the ones that got me tearing at my seams.
Heartless and cold in many ways,
he said.
No more love and redemption,
for the murder you wrote on his bed.

These past few days have been agonizing. We have paper setters that have little or no heart at all man. But I'm pretty damn sure none of the papers were particularly mind-blowing to even be attempted. But never predict A maths. Anything and everything abnormal will be surfaced onto the yellowy-white piece of paper. Live and let live this day for you'll fail terribly on a terrible Friday. I'd say boo to a boring post. But it's mine, so i'll end with a...

I love you guys.
Till then.

Fruitful dudes!

2009-05-10T21:21:00.002+08:00

Slumped and half-dead on my favourite chair, listenin' to the tunes of Lady Gaga. Her songs are the shit' man. It beats Katy perry fo' sho', hands down.

It's been a crazy weekend man. Mellow as hell. I'm enjoyin' every minute of it, and it feels as though the exams are well and truly over. How wrong will that turn out to be when it's my turn to be tormented by the acid bases of chemistry and the dreaded alpha-bettas of A maths. God, it's about time you sent me an angel! Sadly, there's nothing to be stoked about this week. Except for the fact that the exams are coming to an end. Next up will be a series of footie with the lads for the whole month and a spare time to have a roundup' fo' chicks. It kills to be waiting so long for this week to end man. Just to highlight it, I'm enjoying the growing number on my blog HitCounter. But I'm expecting a growing number of tags too. So, tag without mercy you lil' chickadees! I'd be more than glad to reply. Teeheeehee! My apologies for the cheesy post. I'll get back with something fuelled with substance.

For now, time to kill this eventful weekend with a wrap-up' on Chemistry. Wish me luck ;)

Not you.

2009-05-08T22:47:00.004+08:00

Gonna make it short and sweet.
I'm relieved, from the weight of the world on my shoulders.
I'm just halfway through the most daunting period of my life. The most dreaded, in fact. With maths and physics gone, time to face the wrath of A maths. A conviction for failure is imminent. I've got my alibi, folded at the back pocket of my jeans though.

I am ungrateful,
I told stories that are written by liars,
I wrap my arms around your neck,
with no kiss to take you aback.
I stood still.. for a second,
mesmerized by your looks,
And the way you cried my name.
We're worlds apart,
but those tiny eyes told a different story-
A story known as, "a heart to claim".

Originally done; Amirul!

I've lost my sick rhymes. I've lost my inspiration.
I wonder if the 3 day break will significantly help.
Nevertheless, I will enjoy tomorrow and hope for a better day the next day.

Love always, A.

Over-dressed.

2009-05-03T02:55:00.002+08:00

It's a cold night.
I've got Zhiqing with me online to keep me distracted from the lightning that flashes without fail within 3 second intervals. But there's something unusual about tonight. Four flashes in a fraction of a second. And a blinding light that for a second, brings daylight to a dark moonless world. I'm painstakingly tryna' force myself not to blink. If I actually did, I would miss wonderful "fireworks" of surging electricity up in the clouds. Undeniably scary, but beautiful beyond imagination. I am deeply fascinated. But I ain't no geek. As much as I would like to travel around the world, I'd rather spend a week up there in the clouds. A place so unpredictable, blue and beautiful at one point. Dark, then violently stunning, the next.

A boy would think of a thousand and one questions for nature to answer, only to be answered in one phrase. It will always be a mystery.
When dickheads like me have women and lifestyles strutting down the aisle of the mid-section of their brain, they tend to forget about the beautifulest things in life. Nature and it's surroundings. But I'd put my life in the betting pot, for a chance to be with nature and the person I hold dearest to me.
But I'm missing a heart to love. My chances are long overdue, my life's ultimate plan of pure elation and happiness will come to an end without someone to share it with. Will there be a soul to ignite the paper heart kept in my wallet again?
One has to see it's outcome, and the changes that his life would eventually see. For now, I'm a living question mark, with my heart sewn to my sleeve.

I would die to escape this downward spiral. I'd die to love and love is all i ever asked for.

Till the dreaded exam ends.
Love always.

End of it.

2009-05-02T02:25:00.002+08:00

Remind me that it's Friday.
Butttt, as much as I would like to preserve this one-day holiday. I just.. Can't.
It's a fuckin' Saturday and I am SUPPOSED to date my A maths and physics assessments. It's just unfortunate that my books ain't pretty enough to turn me on. Fuckshiet man! I'll start cutting out Megan fox's picture and start pasting it on the front cover of my A maths textbook- Now THATTT(!) is improvising.

I'm startin' to miss playing soccer everyday without fail. By this, I'm tryna tell this straight to your face examinations. You are the 3rd party separating me from my number one hobby. In retaliation, I shall fucking study for the next 4 days and I will beat the hell out of you with fucking red ticks on all the fucking pages. I may sound emotionally depressed. But frankly, I'm just a bored young man frustrated with the internet connection that's been going on and off at 2.50am.
As much as I would like to type a thousand words down here, I have to get back to my beloved bed. It's calling for me with it's sweet voice.

You guys enjoy your night. Enjoy your bed for one last time. For the next few days, you're gonna be up drinkin' wine and smoking cigarettes with your worst enemy- Your books.

Till then.

2009-04-30T18:30:00.002+08:00

Finally, I am permitted to Internet access for the first time in a few days. My modem was busted and I had to endure the pain of not touching these soft, sleek black keyboards. So since everything's back on track and working pretty well, I decided to hop on to this web and do some community work for my blog.

Well, this week was pretty much a breeze for me. I can't complain of exhaustion though, I only came to school twice this week with the M-Y-E(s) fast approaching in a week's time.(The 2 day break from school was absolutely wonderful though. Thanks mom!)
It has been increasingly difficult to catch up with my lack of sleep. I've been studyin' in school with droopy eyes and a Fucking hideous Hair-cut to rub salt to the wound. I have to admit, April and May are the dreaded months of 2009. Cos' at this point of time, none of us will be ready for the major academical test in the first half of the semester.
Anyways, I'm back home early today, searching for solace in the most unlikeliest of places- My bed.
I am gonna have a deserving relaxing hour, before returning to my books.

Till then.
Love, A

2009-04-26T12:34:00.002+08:00

This will be dramatic. Prepare yourselves mates.

Day by day, the fear of the examination room grips me. The teacher's ostentatious remarks only managed a tad bit of calmness for my already chaotic brain. What more can I save myself from, when half of my time is spent wasted on my own enjoyment. From football to hangin' out. From hangin' out to chicks.. the prettiest of em' all. All, so much of a distraction to me. Now with all that in mind, another setback has found it's way at the back of my hands- I was told to cut my hair.
The one thing that I dread most. I had it coming though. My dignity would be stripped off by a pair of scissors. Slowly digging through my sideburns, my fringe, and every little strand of hair. I'll be back to square one. Shi-atz. My only thoughts now.. Oh noooo, not again.

Awkwardly grinning. Secretly thinking.
What should I do now? My heart's dumbfounded, my mind's a startling blank.
I'm a crushed paper thrown in the bin.
Now who would open me up again, to read all the hurtful lies?
That marked my edges and my corner lines, and the unwanted remembrance,
of my failure in the past.

It's about time I came up with something deep.
Till then.

Love always, A.

Call Me A Name.

2009-04-25T16:02:00.002+08:00

Ola' peepoz!

Ahh.. a delightful Saturday. It seemed to take a whole month for this Saturday to come. Finally, a break.
I've been pretty much happy with this week, though the only particular day that I loved was friday, which was yesterday. It was the most, stress-less day I've had in recent weeks. Well, to tell you the truth..I've transformed into a lazy, lazy bastard. I've been stuck lazying around somewhere out on the streets or at home on my bed, covered in drool. Will someone take me out?
Well, the weather is dreadfully unforgiving today. The Sun has been a big bastard for late. The clouds are certainly not helping. I'm gonna get burned like a fat steak on a grill. I guess It's time to divert my attention on the A maths worksheets Mister "Merciless" Yeong gave. Not till I catch Rush Hour 3 on HBO. Hehe ^^

I think the world would collapse into a sea of boredom if there was no such thing as a, HBO. True?

Well, till then.
I'm outzz!
Love always.

Couldn't make it anymore obvious, could you
Be anymore obvious, could you? (:

Pointless

2009-04-23T18:34:00.004+08:00

I am irritating, so I was told.

Ahoy!
"Take the stage" was seemingly boring, except for a few contestants with cheesy voices. Today was pointless, perhaps the most pointless day I've ever had in my life. I went to school, had daily laughfests, and got set for a fuckin' two hours in the detention room. One word man, HELL. It's the worst place to be in when you're all hyped up and feeling a little notch higher than the clouds. It's boring. The boredom tears you apart. It burns. It burns.
I'm gonna give myself a break with a 5 hour nap now. Im gonna friggin' enjoy it for sho'. Like how the day started off, the post was somewhat similar too- Pointless.

I'll see ya'll lil' pirates around.
"A"(:

Dying to be forgotten.

2009-04-20T19:33:00.002+08:00

I would've died in the face of my obscured life, had I not held on to my desire to live. But now that the huge wall that foresees a happy ending on the other side proved to be too much of a challenge for me, I've decided to give up on life, and on the dreams that I yearn for.

I am like a fire,
slowly burning out as the strong winds proved too much for my burning desire to stay.
I am a coward,
Soft and running away from reality.
I am nothing you think I am.
Let me be all alone,
After all my hopes.. dashed, I can no longer feel the way i felt a few months ago.

To the dreams that got inside my head,
to the warmth and comfort of my bed.
I long to see you, wrapped in my fate.
But it's all long gone.
For now, you're a faded photograph.
With that..
I'm gone, for today.

Take me.

2009-04-18T14:19:00.002+08:00

You raised multiple eyebrows,
You slapped a smile on your face.
You lied your way to being happy.
You found friends,
You made out with girls you find deserving to be in the line.
You brought that all up to perfection.
Now you're stuck here.
Fucked up and messed up.

And out of all the solace you can find around you.
You chose one..
-A box that could kill you.

Take A Chance.

Save me from destruction, honey.
I'm knocked out and cold,
I'd like to die beside you,
When our time's up and we are old.
I'd like to classify you,
as a gem that turned into gold.
I'd like to live to die for you,
for now, for today, for every other day.

I've been posting too many poems for late.
That's all I can afford, with so many things to do right now.
It's gonna be a busy preparation month.
I'd like to wish you guys the best of luck in muggin' for your Mid years.
Start now before you regret.

Till then.

Okay tuesday!

2009-04-14T18:31:00.003+08:00

So today was an eventful Tuesday.
To summarize it all up; Stomach-bursting.

The situation turned completely insane during mother tongue lessons. Every 5 minutes, an inch of laughter would be forced out of our throats. Heavy laughter, indeed. Khai went to the extent of tearing after a hard 7-seconds laugh. But at times of the day, I can't help but think of myself as a waste in the face of life. But I took my time to chill out, and hang with the lads, And Mel too. Straight up, I enjoyed my day.

Currently, I am petrified to check out my calender! I'm only left with 15 studyin' days till the dreaded examinations. I'd rather sleep in a shack for a year than sit for the exams. I'm left with 2 weeks, I'm left for dead. FML!

I'll take you out ;)
though I'm hardly worth your time,
I'll try.

So, what now?

Awakening.

2009-04-13T23:27:00.002+08:00

Thank you Ameera, for that tight slap! (:

I'm just writing a draft here. Someday when I'm not busy coping with insane monday(s), I'd add somemore shit her.

Till then.

2009-04-11T19:42:00.003+08:00

Unravel what's left undiscovered.

Marvel her with your carefully chosen words,
Leave her heart in glee.
Empty doubts and singing birds,
Don't think now,
It's time you set free.
But be aware of the heart reaper,
That's out to prove his deems.
Marked by a sinking feeling,
and a mess you have to clean.

Put an end to your nightmares,
It's time to seal your fate.
As your past stood gloriously at the back of your head,
Your future holds no bait.
Girl, You're a high-end motorbike,
I'm a dart without aim.
But I'm not here to play your game,
I'm here for a prize,
That my heart has come to claim.

I was brushed by a series of hardluck, then startled by a stunning hush of gold.

If I could, I'd type more.
But I could only afford a ....
"till then"

Love always.

Stellar dudes.

2009-04-10T23:00:00.002+08:00

Hi.

It's late, and I just got back from a day at the beach. I'm tired, my head is spinning and I have A maths classes to attend to tomorrow. But(!!!) It was a completely stellar experience.
No rain, not even the massive number of earthworms can stop the lads and I from enjoying ourselves. We dipped ourselves in the sea; we ran amok, chased by idiots with earthworms in their hands, we sang "mat" songs while seated at the waterbreaker in the dark. We lit candles as the sun bailed out on us, and the moon stood out from the dark sky. We ate chips and cookies, we ate hotdogs with buns, we had fun and we laughed as stupid ringtones were played through loud speakers. We missed out on all of the fun when the school term started, and when all of it resurfaced after today's outing, I really didn't want it to end. I felt like turning the time and doing the same things over and over again. But I could only wish. It has been awhile, But I'm glad that we actually made things happen even with the heavy rain.

Now that we all had fun, it's time to move all that energy and hype to studying for the midyears. It's boiled down to hard work now. I'm not prepared to befriend those books that I've always regarded as enemies. Friend or foe, I'll work things out with my books. I've had a lot of people under-rating me. Now, I'm here to prove that I'm capable. Imma state my claim. I don't wanna be lagging behind while the rest are flying high with their marks. It's time to fly with em'.

There I go, talking shit again.
I'm feeling great though.

Unfortunately, this shit ends here.

With love.. always,

A.S.S

2009-04-07T21:20:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow's coming.
And I'll climb the infamous ledge,
But I'll not fall to my death,
I'll fly.
But where are the wings to guide me and support me?

Come on, come all.. Help this rockstar-prince, live up to his life.

Expect a great day tomorrow.
If you guys would like to catch a glimpse of The Prince tomorrow, He'll be heading to the Street Soccer Court right behind Tampines' Sports hall.

Till then.

2009-04-06T22:24:00.003+08:00

A pending nightmare, perhaps? Or a recipe for disaster?

I am known for having a big appetite for risks. But these recent risks and problems that's been clogging up my mind, has got me second guessing. I feel currently small, in a world only a tenth the size of Jupiter. But then again, I know my calculations are completely incorrect. What's it that a dumb little kid can think of? That's easy.. Words.

I have a little heart's desire, but a whole world to spill. I can't possibly burn these troubled thoughts with poems and sick lyrics that make me MoonWalk the way I did in class. It takes a whole lot to sink in. To take it all in and huff it all out in a puff. Well, you guessed it my friend. I'm a tad bit back to my old bad habit. I can't possibly swallow my doubts, right? Besides, It wouldn't taste nice with Nutella ;)

I am most definitely hating the workload i've been receiving in school. The pile of worksheets I've been receiving and currently doing feels like a daunting climb up on Mount Everest. BUT(!), it's 4 weeks to the midyears. And I'm completely petrified! It's 10.40pm, I'm exhausted.

I can't believe tomorrow is only tuesday. It feels like a thursday. Yikes.

Tag Replies.

amirah: your english is flawless. hahaha lol does the words go together right?
HAHA! Flawless? I'm sure there's more flaws in my sentences than you think. Yeah dude, it's right.

5 Apr 09, 08:45 PM
AQILAH: hello new friend. link?
;Dude, since you made the effort to comeby, It's the least I can do man! hahah. LINK ME TOO!

5 Apr 09, 12:42 AM
P stands for Puteri :D: succccckaaazxzxz,eh i mean sisterxzxz.HAHA. kay,dah linked daah:]
;Yoooo! you little pig. Aight, thanks (:

4 Apr 09, 08:49 PM
athira: already your talking part post i dont understand, how to FATHOM your poems?! OMGAAAAH. -.-
I've been your friend for awhile athira. I know you're incapable of catching words and phrases from anywhere, including food menus. XD

4 Apr 09, 03:52 PM
JINGHENG: BIRD NEST HAIR. Woohoo! I've a new nick for our dear Mister Shazzani here.
;Don't go around being assholic, you dicksucker.

3 Apr 09, 10:58 PM
HANANNNI.: -/ JINGHENG He's dumb, thats why! Hahahahaha! He already is. Hehe. Jealous? O.o Hahah! Whatever, hmph. Bird-nest hair
;I thought for a second I'd throw you away, just for you to get out of my sight. Come on, you know you can never beat me in a war of words.

3 Apr 09, 10:43 PM
JINGHENG: WhattttEVAAAA. I'm like that. You should know by now. DUMB. ****.
;Dudeeee, how dumb can I be man. XD

3 Apr 09, 08:14 PM
JunHao: Hey horny~~
;Hey you, piece of shit! Haha.(:

Don't tell me the truth.

2009-04-04T23:12:00.002+08:00

Don't tell me the truth.

I'd rather live in a world of lies. Basically the truth hits you like a stroke. You become paralyzed beyond doubt. You become lifeless.. Like me. I would extremely appreciate it, if I had the abnormal ability to escape reality(Like the boring Athirasari Diyana.) I can't stand the truth. I despise listening to facts. I despise discovering the truth. In a way, we'll be fine without them. You won't have to worry about getting infected by aids. You won't have to wonder why your hair is falling. You won't have to wonder, why your heart is tearing itself apart. Despite all that, the truth rings in my ear every 5 seconds. I'll either live with it, or die hearing it. How bout' you decide for me?

Currently, the truth is hurting me.
But I'll lighten up! Cos' I think my destiny lies in the form of cakes and champagnes. Ho-Ha lads!
Say no to the truth, Say yes to drugs and champagnes!

Don't forget.

2009-04-04T12:20:00.003+08:00

Inspired by ATL's song, lullabies.
I decided to write this. It was awhile ago though. During my times of depression. I wanted to be slow and deep. I hope it is. This would be the second song that I've penned, all by myself. Have a dig at it.

Memories you don't forget.

This word has lost it's way.
The love we had, has gone away.
I don't think I'd be the same.
Don't get yourself above your head.
I'll say,
Your time has come to seal your fate.
But one thing's for sure,
I won't be around.

On the dreaded summer where,
we lived our bitter memories.
The summer where hurt,
was a constant flow.
The summer where you didn't care,
the summer where love we didn't share,
the summer where everything was a mess.

[Chorus]
SAVE ME, where's my dream My life awaits?
I am lost inside my gates, that i've been stuck in,
for years.
darling please, please just go.
There's nothing left for you to show.
I am sick, I am washed up on the shore.
I'm just the memory,
the memory of before.

Now, you reconstruct your feeling of guilt.
you haunt me back, with hopes and dreams,
you're dying to fulfill.
but cant you tell.. Cant you tell...
MY WORDS, says it all of a broken heart.
YOUR WORDS, was the cause of it all, right from the start.
Don't you see.. That this dream is bailing out on me.
I'm tired, I'm sick of your possibilites.

Darling, in my eyes, you're nothing anymore.
Darling, You wrote me off, you chase me out the door.
I won't forget.. That my dream has been wasted, on my hopes for you.
I won't forget.. The hurt I felt when my heart was owned by you.
So what's it now, that makes me feel so hurt.

[chorus]
SAVE ME, where's my dream My life awaits?
I am lost inside my gates, that i've been stuck in,
for years.
darling please, please just go.
There's nothing left for you to show.
I am sick, I am washed up on the shore.
I'm just the memory,
the memory of before.

Crumble mumble.

2009-04-04T00:20:00.004+08:00

Wadzup guys.

Have you thought of a way to elude all the suffering that you've been going through?
Have you been bothered by yourself for always thinking and never stopping?

I have and I think I've had enough with these hardcore pondering. My life has been wasted with constant thoughts that are completely irrelevant. Life is always wasted on these things that will never bring you pleasure in the end, anyway. Life is always wasted on searching for things that will never come your way. Life is always unfair, to the ones that are deserving of a better life. And I think I deserve more than what I have now up here, in my mind. I don't seem to have the strength. I don't seem to have the mental capacity to overcome all these fears. But I think I'm gonna use my fears, my doubts to think of a decision to mark my way for a change in my life.
I'll strike a match on my candle, I'll walk this dark alley of challenges. I'll search for love in the most undesirable places ever. As long as I'm happy and content.
I deserve more than just a collection of watches with diamonds at the center.
I deserve more than a pretty face.
I deserve more than a pathetic zero for my tests.
I deserve a better guardian, to my withered heart.
I deserve a better angel, to soothe this calloused hands, that's seen it all.

Do not crumble right now. Cause your pillars are what I need and hope for. Take a breath and a second glance, cos you won't get to see me the way I am, in your eyes anymore.

I've done the talking talk.
Now it's time for me to leave with a simple gesture.

Peace.

Peter Pan.

2009-03-31T20:14:00.002+08:00

From Neverland he flew,
Across a different world,
it's here he knew.
A glorious princess in a skipping stance,
With the name of Wendy,
Off the corner street he glance.
It's called the adventures of Peter Pan,
it's here, it's there,
Where it all began.

More to come.

peace.

omelettes!

2009-03-30T19:25:00.001+08:00

I walked home alone, with the music on my psp turned to full blast. Life doesn't get any better than that. Now, take a minute...

I'm no egghead, biatch.

2009-03-29T14:17:00.004+08:00

I ran out of ideas.
So I shall post what I put up on twitter.

"What a success. One hour of darkness. Ten years of electricity saved. Actually, I don't even know of the stats. HAHAHA."

Jimmy Eat World is following me on twitter. If I had a great connection with em', Who knows they'd pass a copy of my music to their record. Absurd isn't the right word for that kind of wishful thinking. That's what I call.. FUCKING RAD MANNNNN! But clearly, my dreams stares at a rugged hairband. ihiks ihiks(some idiot taught me this).

Now, I shall do the pile of homework I neglected for the past 2 days.Yikes.
Im in deep fried shit.

Peace.

2009-03-28T19:54:00.002+08:00

Earth hour is commencing in less than an hour's time. Let's do our part, fags.

Snap me.

2009-03-28T09:07:00.004+08:00

I woke up early on a Saturday, only to find out that there wasn't any physics class -.-
Now I'm up, on twitter and checking out All Time Low's new single, weightless. Sounds different, but pretty rad. Good enough now that I don't have to listen to their old album every single day anymore. Check it out by clicking here, ATL's New single.

I'm very eager for a little boost to put me above the clouds.
Will ya help?
Perhaps, i don't need to be above the clouds anymore.

Snap Me

Now, I don't need to be within the clouds,
cos' I'm enlightened,
an illusion of two in multiple crowds.
My heart, foreseen.
Inside out, she knows, it seems.
She digresses, to everything i feel.
but I'm on a high, fuelled with elation,
I'm pinning for that lil sophistication.
but I'm confused, to step up or conceal.
Your heart's not seen the best of me.
Bring me down to earth with you,
I'll make it seem unreal.
Make me your reaction, Your wasted minutes,
and the days you live for.
I don't wanna waste another minute here,
snap me up.

Enough said.
Till then. ;)

Dreams only last for a night.

2009-03-26T20:48:00.004+08:00

It's a great night.
A great night to stop and think, to ponder about your doubts.
To secure all that insecure thoughts,
To erase all that's been bothering you.
I'm cold, again, battered.
I'm keeping away from all the things , that constantly got me caught in cold sweat.
I'm done with all the risks.
I do not wanna see another kite, lost from my grasp.
I do not wanna watch em' disappear behind the clouds.
For now, I'm gonna take the last flight back to being solitary.

Stay awake, get a grip and get out
You're safe from the weight of the world just sank
Just take a second to set things straight
I'll be fine even though I'm not always right
I can count on the sun to shine
Dedication takes a lifetime
But dreams only last for a night

From, All Time low's (stay awake.)

Hopeless young Matador.

2009-03-24T21:19:00.002+08:00

What does it mean to feel,
but not to love?
Hopes squandered,
Scattered across landfills of broken dreams.
We tend to forget through Coffee and tea.
But my mind's still clogged with sorrow,
Like tree logs blocking beautiful streams.

What's left for me to dream?

Does your life suck?

2009-03-22T02:38:00.003+08:00

I failed my online quiz. And I'm bound to fail the other one. Life ain't poppin' for me. But, some shithole got me thinking by sending me this link, Sucky Life stories. Though it's fucking comical, it Kinda shows how grateful I am that my life ain't that bad. As in, THAT BAD.

Lemme quote something from the site. "Today, I was setting up my laptop's fingerprint scanner. It worked, but in the name of science, I decided to put my penis on it to see if it could recognize it. When I was trying to login via my penis print, my mom walked in."

What are the odds having your mom walk in on you doing some pretty "scientific" stuffs to your lappy? Or having to see your 9 year marriage go down the drain all because your husband was gay? Now, that's pretty devastating. hahaha.
Singaporeans should indulge themselves in these ingenious activities once in a while. I'd love to see my teacher mistake my penis for my phone when I'm asleep, facedown in class. Now, that would be something special. I'm running out of ideas, and I'm running out of steam, My eyes are bailing out on me.

Stay current guys, the night's still young!

Till then.

twitty twitter.

2009-03-20T16:34:00.002+08:00

Twitter

I'm not gonna miss out on all this pretty websites. So I'm making one of my own, twittaarrhh! With this, people can have more of Mister Amirul De'LaSenza Di allio Remo. Have a go at it people. Be part of the twittah community! Fun's over, back to homeworks -.-

With love.